something i've noticed about ravers

[Allison Wonderland]

as i've gotten closer to a lot of my raver friends i've realized that as different as we are, a lot of us have a lot in common. is it just me, or does the majority of ravers seem to have had bad childhoods? after getting to know more ravers i've found that more and more of them have had hella dramatic lives, or were picked on all through childhood, etc.

and to me this makes total sense, and explains why raves are a place where people can find acceptance, because (nearly) everyone comes from a similar background to them... and that's why it's a lot easier for us than most to find unity. because we've been dealt more shit in our lives, we know what it's like to feel unaccepted and we don't want to put others through it, too. raves are truly a haven for the people who feel like they haven't found a place. as long as you treat others nicely, people will usually treat you nicely back.

i definitely have had "ugly duckling" syndrome for most of my life!! i was ugly, dorky, shy, and socially awkward all through elementary and middle school, and only my best friend was able to see through that and not judge me (and what do ya know, she's the one who introduced me to raving, haha) i was teased aaaaallllll throughout elementary school. and i think that it's part of what's led to me being so tolerant and accepting today.
does anyone agree, or am i totally off base here?

[Kurlie]

I totally had this conversation like two weeks ago!

I'm not awake enough to articulate the entire conversation.
But, from what I can tell, most of us ravers rave because it's the only place we can find family.

We're drawn to the love part, because we didn't get too much as children.


I know I didn't. Or rather, don't.

[Allison Wonderland]

Originally Posted by Kurlie

I totally had this conversation like two weeks ago!

I'm not awake enough to articulate the entire conversation.
But, from what I can tell, most of us ravers rave because it's the only place we can find family.

We're drawn to the love part, because we didn't get too much as children.


I know I didn't. Or rather, don't.

yeah, definitely. my family life has always been wayyy fucked up, so finding people who have been through the same shit as me and are loving and accepting is something so amazing about the rave scene, and it's what keeps me going for sure

[smoketrails]

i think 90% of people our age in america today had a fucked up childhood... infact everyone i know has some sob story about what happend to them when they where little

[Allison Wonderland]

Originally Posted by smoketrails

i think 90% of people our age in america today had a fucked up childhood... infact everyone i know has some sob story about what happend to them when they where little

that's true, but there's a difference between petty childhood drama and full on fucked up childhoods

[lilbluesprite44]

this is a rather interesting topic, i believe that it is true, in the essence that people band together to Form modern day tribes as a survival mechanism. We find similarities weather it be music, dance,style, or simply background. Now i am not sure about the correlation between a fucked up childhood, and if you are more likely to gravitate to raves. But there is evidence that suggest that a socially out casted person is more likely gravitate towards things that are considered socially unacceptable by definition. I think ravers find acceptance with a group of people who can understand being part of a a scene that is looked upon so poorly. I also think that the music is really the main draw, for me at least it was departure from with everyone else had on there CD players and what is all over the media. I guess it was almost a counterculture that was made for people like me who wanted a place to be accepted and a platform for self expression where there is no right or wrong way to dance.

[babygotbunz]

i have had my own expereinces through out jr high and highschoool that made raveing a place of a safe haven of sorts... although i didn't have a horrible childhood or never been a complete outkast.. i share the same common interest that everybody is looking for... i've always wondered who were the ppl out of my group of friends.. that i will still keep in touch with post highschool... of the many ppl that i knew in highschool i've only been able to keep in touch with ..well-my roomates... it seems that you DO meet some of your true life long friends out of highschool... throughout the course of these past few months.. i've been able to express myself and be free to be me.. with out insecurties! which i haven't done since i was like in elementary school lol...i've learned a lot... and i've never been more happier... it's unfortanate that i've had friends from highschool discover things about me... and misjudge me by assuming they know wat the scene is!! (the stereotype) and to have ppl as closed minded to judge was really hurtful! from there i anyayzled who was really a friend and who wasn't... although i don't want raveing to take over my life.. it really has abeen a big part... i've been able to hang out with many ppl outside of raves... and to see them in a differnt perspective is pretty amazing.. we all have goals in life and we all want to achieve things...and it's great to meet a bunch of ppl who come in with the same attitude... and to be able to relate to each other.. and have those heart to hearts!!! and i love lov elove looking back at all of those ppl dancing on the floor and being so care free and having so much fun.. just makes me all warm and fuzzy... it's one of the most heart warming sites to see...

[Allison Wonderland]

Originally Posted by babygotbunz

and have those heart to hearts!!!

our heart to hearts = the best
we need to go on another long car ride, mmkay?
I LOVE YOU BUNZ!

[Allison Wonderland]

Originally Posted by lilbluesprite44

I guess it was almost a counterculture that was made for people like me who wanted a place to be accepted and a platform for self expression where there is no right or wrong way to dance.

i completely and totally agree... when i was studying the counterculture movement of the 1960s, i was able to draw so many parallels to raves. it's definitely a platform for self expression... before, i used to be terrified to dance (just ask funshine, haha, we'd go to school dances and i was soooo painfully awkward) and now... i've danced on stages, speakers, tables, i don't care, i'll dance anywhere and everywhere no matter who's watching. raving has given me so much confidence.

[smoketrails]

Originally Posted by Allison Wonderland

that's true, but there's a difference between petty childhood drama and full on fucked up childhoods

thats what i ment...

most everyone ive met has had a "my father beat me" "i was touched by an adult" "i was mentally destroyed in schools" or "when i dident behave i was assulted with so many prescription drugs it was rediculous"

everyone i know has problems i guess =/

i know when i take their little mental health tests i get a whole lot more sessions scedualed after it! what can i say... im good like that =D

i should have never been released into the wild... the worlds not safe!!

[shitsngiggles]

err.. you JUST noticed this?

[Idi0tb0x]

Originally Posted by smoketrails

i know when i take their little mental health tests i get a whole lot more sessions scedualed after it! what can i say... im good like that =D

Ahh the tests...you know, if you take enough of them and they can't nail you down to "what's WRONG" with you, they get really frustrated! Usually they can't figure you out if you're smarter than the tests.

I've taken the tests..myers briggs etc...I've been in classes with kids who shit their pants and I've been in the "gifted" program, I've been depressed, suicidal, manic, and "normal", etc...(by their definitions) and in the long run they just couldn't firgure it out. They held me back in 7th grade and then wanted to bump me up to 9th the next year, WTF? And of course, it was all my parents' fault.

I made the guidance counselor cry when I broke it down to her how fucked up it was for her "I took a psych class in college" ass to try to fix herself by toying with the futures of children.

It's just fucked how before people even know who they are other people, who are often just as fucked up, are defining them with negative vocabulary. Man, I never wanna grow up.