Funny Article

[Juleswants2dance]

" Sydney Morning Herald
27/02/04
"Kandi Raver Dies of PLUR"

The death of a 17 year old girl last week has prompted calls for the state-wide banning of Vicks Inhalers. The girl was attending an underground 'rave' party where she was allegedly forced to perform a number of bizzare 'raving' ritual's. These rituals are apparently 'common-place' with an extremist cult that is known as the 'Kandi Ravers'.

The father of the deceased has spoken out against this dangerous faction which is best known for its populist war cry; 'PLUR'.

Mr Mariachi stated, "After drugging my daughter with ecstasy, the cult members hypnotised her with glowsticks (a ritual known as a 'light show'), before performing the ultimately deadly attack by blowing Vicks in her eye's. How many people need to die before these deadly weapons are taken off the market?"

Criminologist Thomas Percy has compared the bizzare death to the methods used by the Colombian Mafia.

The autopsy results, released yesterday, conclude that the girl died of a 'serotonin overload', caused by combining MDMA with the intense euphoria created by having Vicks blown in your eye.

The use of glowsticks elevated the victims PLURness to dangerously high levels, before the Vicks acted as the catalyst in her death. In lamens terms; the user died of being too happy.

Witnesses at the scene reported the girl saying the word 'PLUR' over and over, before eventually collapsing as a result of the 'over-exuberant' 'Vicks Blowing' of a fellow cult member. The cult member was quickly apprehended by on-site police and taken in for questioning.

The suspect is believed to go by the 'party name' of "*PLUR BOY*", but charges are yet to be laid. If he is convicted of murder, it will be the first case in which someone has used a 'Vicks Inhaler' to inflict fatal damage.

Dr Nick Riviera, a scientist at Sydney University has been a long-time supporter of the theory that combining glowsticks and vicks with MDMA may have adverse consequences;

"The problem with Vicks inhalers is that most users don't realise the potentially harmful problems that may result from frequent use. Some users have reported a minty discharge from the eye-socket and others have been temporarily blinded. This is one of the first cases I have encountered where a victim actually died as a result of being too happy."

The idea of 'serotonin overload' is not new however, several ravers have been committed to mental institutions after their parents discovered that they were infected with the dangerous virus known as 'PLUR'.

Not to be mistaken with 'SARS', 'PLUR' is not deadly in most cases. 'PLUR' is most commonly spread through hugs and by sharing pacifiers and chuppa chupps at illegal 'rave' events.

A federal investigation has been launched into the role of vicks inhalers, glowsticks and other 'rave tools' in potentiating the possibly deadly effects of the 'PLUR' virus.

The 'National Rave Association' (NRA) however, is claiming that the dangerous Vicks Inhaler stunts are the actions of an uprising cult faction and have condemned the attacks.

Over the last 5 years, many ravers have become jaded by the increased spread of the 'PLUR' virus. A World Health Organisation study has estimated that by the year 2050, Kandi Kids will outnumber humans by 3:1.

While this is the first death as a direct result of 'PLUR', the study
estimates more than 6 billion people could become inflicted with this potentially killer disease. Research is currently being under-taken to uncover a possible vaccine. "





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[germe246]

lol rofl at first i was reading it as if it was real but after a while i was like naa this is bs but now i am thinking it is possible but naaa

[Poetic]

Sounds like BS to me

[DanceThumbs]

"After drugging my daughter with ecstasy, the cult members hypnotised her with glowsticks (a ritual known as a 'light show'), before performing the ultimately deadly attack by blowing Vicks in her eye's."


Might be BS....either way its hilarious

[Juleswants2dance]

Personally, I don't think it's BS because it is plausible that a father would think those things. He obviously knows nothing about raves. Also, people will believe anything to help ease the pain of a lost child.

BS or not, it's quite entertaining to read from a raver's point of view. So I thought I'd share with you all.

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[Poetic]

Originally Posted by Juleswants2dance

Personally, I don't think it's BS because it is plausible that a father would think those things. He obviously knows nothing about raves. Also, people will believe anything to help ease the pain of a lost child.

BS or not, it's quite entertaining to read from a raver's point of view. So I thought I'd share with you all.

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Oh, I wasn't implying that it isn't still very hilarious. hahahaha. I was only saying BS because the article sounds so incredibly far fetched and unprofesionally written that it sounds like BS. I mean who uses "PLURness"... gah. I must stop before I completely pick apart this article. For real real.

[MommaShorty]

Dude! I want to die of "being too happy" HAHAHAHA



Not to be mistaken with 'SARS', 'PLUR' is not deadly in most cases. 'PLUR' is most commonly spread through hugs and by sharing pacifiers and chuppa chupps at illegal 'rave' events.


fucking hilarious.

[codyishere]

i cant respond to this....really i kinda feel like killing myself from reading this

WATCH OUT! PLUR!

an apple a day keeps the PLUR away!

[xDJxSAPHYREx]

hahaha i remember readin this hella days ago...


but yea, its fake. Need proof? Dr Nick Riviera is the doctor in The Simpsons (HIII EVERYBODYYY!!)


"Witnesses at the scene reported the girl saying the word 'PLUR' over and over, before eventually collapsing as a result of the 'over-exuberant' 'Vicks Blowing' of a fellow cult member."

^

[Drifter]

Its fake....

-Drifter

[Juleswants2dance]

Originally Posted by xDJxSAPHYREx

hahaha i remember readin this hella days ago...


but yea, its fake. Need proof? Dr Nick Riviera is the doctor in The Simpsons (HIII EVERYBODYYY!!)


"Witnesses at the scene reported the girl saying the word 'PLUR' over and over, before eventually collapsing as a result of the 'over-exuberant' 'Vicks Blowing' of a fellow cult member."

^

Hahaha, I should have caught that.

Oh well, it's still hilarious.

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[Poetic]

Originally Posted by Juleswants2dance

Hahaha, I should have caught that.

Oh well, it's still hilarious.

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I would also have to shoot myself if my last name was Mariachi.