Fuck Stoners

[The Joker]

Weed is great; the people who smoke it aren't.

I love weed, but I can't stand other people who do it. Nearly every pothead I know is greedy, selfish, and never willing to share any of their drugs. These people will use anything as an excuse.

Potheads take the word "flakey" to a new level. Making plans with a weed addict is like fucking a prostitute - they tell you that they're coming, but you know it's a lie.

Stoners only talk about one thing: weed. I can't stand being in a room and having to listen to a group of them argue and engage in long, heated discussions about it:

Stoner #1: "Dude, this is fuckin' dank herb man!"
Stoner #2: "No way, that's just green bud, it ain't shit."
Stoner #1: "Naw man, this is the bomb dizzity dank. It doesn't look like it, but this stuff is insane."
Stoner #2: "Seriously bro, my friend had that exact same shit, it aint no thang."
Stoner #1: "Yeah but he prolly got a stem, this shit's pure, dawg. Trust me."

They go on like that for hours and it's ridiculous. Weed is weed; you smoke it and get high. End of discussion.

I think pot should be legal, that's just my opinion. However, I'm not about to devote my life to it. Groups like the "Legalize Cannabis Alliance" lounge around and brainstorm cheesy slogans like "Legalize it, don't penalize it.". The organizations throw thousands of dollars into making promotional posters, leaflettes, and bumper stickers for their cause. I say, if you're going to invest that much money to smoke pot legally, take the cash and buy yourself a one-way ticket to Amsterdam where stoners already won the war on drugs.

Then there are the musician weedheads who say, "I'm better at the [instrument] when I'm high." That's such bullshit. Everything sounds awesome when you're stoned. I could play a keyboard for five hours and think I'm the greastst pianist on the planet before realizing it's not even turned on. Watch, I'll get high and try and rap.

...

Here I go yo. Mofo.

I smoked pot, now I'm spacing out like an astronaut.
I stare at a white wall and see poka-dots and sun spots..
I watch a bird outside and think it's my high school mascot.
When I'm high, I behave fruity like an apricot.

When I'm out of bud, I smoke the marijuana stalks
'till my eyes get bloodshot and my guts get blood clot.
My rhymes are comical like fox trot.
Damn. Doctor? Remind me not to ever write on my site while high (ot). Starchy marchy parchment tater tot.

See? That looks totally awesome right now because I'm baked. I read it and think I'm better than Eminem and Skittles. Too bad. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, read this, and think I'm an asshole. Maybe I'll change it, maybe not.

Holy cornflakes Batman, I can't really remember what I was writing about.

Holy shit.

Listen. This is like... ground breaking new stoner technology: I'm going to light both ends of a joint and suck through a hole in the middle. My hypothesis is that I will get twice as high. I can't believe nobody's thought of this before.

Thilo: yes captain. Are you high, sir? No! That is me in the corner eating a banana split. How can I be in the corner when I'm on the computer typing at the same time? Well dad, It must be my banana split personality.

Enough about weed, I'd like to talk about cereal. Cereal Captain. My favorite cereal is gigawut. Gigawho? Ligament. Fine linament in a yuck yuck hockey puck where's Captain Hook?

Can you spot my name in this picture? If not, try finding it with google. Boogle mood, please brood, mmm food, search on google dude.

stoners understood why this article was so fucked up.









totally posted this in the wrong forum but hell, it works here too!

[{mac} the girl]

as hilarious as this is its not entirely true. before i got put on probation i was a hella fat stoner (still a stoner at heart but thats besides the point) and i would have rather blazed my bud with someone else then by myself. if they didnt match me o well they'd probably get me back wen i was in need. and if not then o well atleast i got stoned with a buddy and thats cool.
but still this thread made me laugh even tho im not stoned. and your rap was pretty cool. but thats just my opinion. it wasnt like the best but it was alright.

[MommaShorty]

All the stoners I know are sweet, loving and sharing...and responsible.

I'm honestly HELLA nice when i'm stoned...i mean i'll tell your momma jokes n shit but it's all in good fun

Like for example

-shorty can you give me a ride in your gas guzzling mini van to some town hella far away

-pshh only if you give me hella gas money you little bitch

*while waiting for the person to get out of house i took him to, i smoke a bowl*

-so here's your gas money

-ah man don't worry about it, you're my friend, that's what friends do for eachother


That shit happens all the time
And i share my weed like it's fucking worth nothing
even with people i dont know
"hey wanna smoke a fat blunt?" i pop that question to random people all the tiiiiime

and i can be flakey, but i've been flakey my whole life... i have a respectable job, i get my shit done

and to be honest i know people that before they started smoking weed were fucking uptight ASSHOLES

i used to be HELLA uptight before i started smoking weed (when i was like 12 lol)

[EtherealCreature]

that really made me laugh.

[iLikeMusic]

I actually 80% agree with The Joker


The Joker described many of friends who I don't call friends anymore where weed has completely changed them over a few years.

"I love weed, but I can't stand other people who do it. Nearly every pothead I know is greedy, selfish, and never willing to share any of their drugs. These people will use anything as an excuse.

Potheads take the word "flakey" to a new level. Making plans with a weed addict is like fucking a prostitute - they tell you that they're coming, but you know it's a lie.

Stoners only talk about one thing: weed. I can't stand being in a room and having to listen to a group of them argue and engage in long, heated discussions about it:"

This is so true for them! They have become exactly like that, and it is sad and makes me angry too tho. They have become *shit* people. This is why i have stopped smoking weed too much and am trying to quit altogether, there was a time I started to see these shit qualities grow in me and it scared me shitless.

Now this is not true for all ppl thats why i said i agree 80%

The other 20% of stoners would love to share their weed, arent greedy, dont lie all the time, aren't shit people etc.

Im happy to say too I love to share and smoke wit ppl i duno and make new friends. Weed is not crack or meth and shouldnt be treated as

At picsces me and my friend were not feeling too well and this nice guy named Dennis we didnt kno blazed a bowl wit us. That was kind of him, those are more like the stoners we need.

[Scorched]

LOL. i agree with you sometimes. First off getting stoned is first a personal decision and being high can be a me first thing. If you don't like the people your getting stoned with then go out and make new friends who are nice and can talk about philosophy or something else besides the 3 gram keef'd blunt sealed with hash oil that they smoked one of these days in the past but they can't remember when because it doesnt really matter.

Originally Posted by iLikeMusic

Now this is not true for all ppl thats why i said i agree 80%

The other 20% of stoners would love to share their weed, arent greedy, dont lie all the time, aren't shit people etc.

Im happy to say too I love to share and smoke wit ppl i duno and make new friends. Weed is not crack or meth and shouldnt be treated as

At picsces me and my friend were not feeling too well and this nice guy named Dennis we didnt kno blazed a bowl wit us. That was kind of him, those are more like the stoners we need.

Damn i was looking around for someone to smoke with at Pisces, i brought weed but no pipe . I ended up smoking with the hippie guy who was flying around in a cape around 4 am lol.

[MommaShorty]

Originally Posted by iLikeMusic

I actually 80% agree with The Joker



Potheads take the word "flakey" to a new level. Making plans with a weed addict is like fucking a prostitute - they tell you that they're coming, but you know it's a lie.

Stoners only talk about one thing: weed. I can't stand being in a room and having to listen to a group of them argue and engage in long, heated discussions about it:"

haha fucking prostitutes

but yeah real hardcore stoners that only talk about weed or just tell stories about how they got high, or just a story about how high they got...not what they did....

my friend called me a stoner the other day because yes, i do smoke weed every day....but sometimes its just like a half hour before i go to bed, and that's is MY time to drink hot cocoa, eat popcorn and watch samurai jack...and i love that time...i actually get a lot done when i'm stoned...i have MORE perseverance...

for example

...this was when i first learned the beauty of smoking weed by yourself...in your own home...cuz you got nothing to be paranoid about...

i wanted to draw...and paint. i never draw. or paint. what did i do? i spent a good 20 minutes rummaging around my room determined to find my old art supplies from like fucking elementary school. took a while but i did it. i drew a fucking awesome picture

if i was sober...you know what i would have done? i would have given up looking for shit like 2 minutes into it. when i'm stoned i always stop myself and ask "what SHOULD i be doing right now?" that's how i got my job. i got stoned one time and starting typing myspace.com and then stopped and said "what SHOULD i do right now?" and i filled out applications...it's weird

but yeah...some stoners fucking piss me off

ESPECIALLY the ones that get MAD when they ask you if you want to smoke weed and you say no. Cuz i'm a lightweight...and i only like to get REAAALLLYYY stoned if i'm by myself or with close friends, so if i'm already stoned and someone offers...and i say no cuz i'm already stoned and they get all hyphy about it it just pisses me off....

and i can't even talk about weed people will ask me "what kind of weed is this?" "is it outdoor or indoor" and i'm like i dont fucking know it's fucking weed.

yeah this was a long reply. big deal

[sacpunkkid]

POT'S GREAT. IT'S REALLY, REALLY GREAT. I LIKE TO SHMOKE IT. I GET HIGH AND ENJOY LIFE. If you don't like me for it, bitchin. Then I won't share with you. But if you do want to smoke, let me know. Real smokers always share.

[Klover]

oh joker.....spreading his jadedness and negativity to this forum....poo.

and every stoner i know....smokes out people like crazy.

shit i give away brownies and cookie edibles for free sometimes.

and every rave ive been too, ive been smoked out to by countless blunts.

maybe your negativity has just come around to bite ya in the tooshie and people dont share with you?

and the stoners i know are nothing like the ones you described....only doing their stuff high, only talking about weed, etc...

weed is such a complicated topic to discuss....because the viewpoints about it are so large...so yeah, people may be picky with how they smoke, who they smoke with, how much people know their shit....but overall the stoners i know are waaaaaay nicer than non stoners.

[razor7]

Well,
I half agree. I have friends who are flaky as hell. "Yeah, i'll be there at 11" then show up at 12:30 sort of thing. Sometimes I want to say it's their personality, but at other times I think it's just them being high and getting side tracked. I think we can all say that it's happened to us. "DUDE! let's go get some fucking pizza!" "Uh, hold on. Need to beat this boss in DMC4" add an hour and then they get pizza.

For myself, when I have the ability to share weed with close friends, I will. The thing is, I'm still stuck at home, and have parents that stay up late/used to be pot heads and don't want me to become a stoner. Thanks to this, I am now almost a complete midnight toker. I'll go outside and smoke anytime between 11-1 on nights I don't have homework or on nights that I just feel like watching a movie and PASSING OUT. Nothing is better then falling asleep when you're keyed out of your mind.

However when the time does arise for me to share with others, say, a friday night when we have nothing better to do, I have no problem sharing with my close friends. They always get me back eventually, in one aspect or another. I only choose not to smoke out people who I either distrust or who I know will not appreciate the effort on my part one bit.

I think the big issue is moderation. All stoners want to be high 24/7. They think they do better on homework, tests, driving, everything when they're high. Honestly though, I've looked back on my work (ceramics class) when I'm sober and just thought "what the fuck was I making?!" At the time, it was an amazing project, but now I don't even know. For that reason, I never smoke and go to class, never smoke and do homework, never smoke and do anything of importance. I think one of the key things that most stoners loved when they first started were just the epic adventures (cue the mix by sausee) that you have when you first start smoking. I remember spending literally an hour and a half in a safeway at 10:30 deciding between chips and ice cream (and many more foods) and left with a choice that would have taken me 5 minutes to choose when I'm sober. It's times like those that give you fond memories of smoking, but when it becomes almost a habit and you aren't having those adventures/fun times, then there's not really much of a point. I don't smoke much BECAUSE I'm a midnight toker. There usually isn't much else to do other then watch a movie and fall asleep. When the option comes up to smoke at a normal hour (like after work) I'll seize it.

-TC

[Checker [NCSC]]

Originally Posted by {mac} the girl

as hilarious as this is its not entirely true. before i got put on probation i was a hella fat stoner (still a stoner at heart but thats besides the point) and i would have rather blazed my bud with someone else then by myself. if they didnt match me o well they'd probably get me back wen i was in need. and if not then o well atleast i got stoned with a buddy and thats cool.
but still this thread made me laugh even tho im not stoned. and your rap was pretty cool. but thats just my opinion. it wasnt like the best but it was alright.

Its called the weed circle. Everything comes back your way. You cant go around being Weedy (weed greed) I don't talk about weed 24/7 but it is nice to talk about the different kinda buds.

Oh shit this is some bomb ass organic outdoor. Better then that bunk ass hydro we smoked the other day.

Its a science and a art. Just like everything else.

I have never been known to turn someone down when I am smoking a bowl. I will sit at bus stops and offer it and walk around my college and ask people if they want to smoke. I have met so many friends just this way. What a better way to meet someone then pack a nice bowl of that bomb ass weed.

[MommaShorty]

yeah i guess i do piss my friends off sometimes when it takes me an hour to get out of my house because i keep playing call of duty 4 hella stoned...

but even if i'm not stoned....

i guess that's just the gamer mentality