Close Dancers

[Chicago]

haha, this is kind of a female-oriented thread, but i really wanna hear what guys have to say about this too...

i also think it's good to talk about this before pop...

does anyone else just feel gross when you're at a rave and some dude just comes up and starts juking with you? and i'm aware that you guys don't use the word juke here, so here's the least-ignorant sounding definition compliments of urban dictionary:

4. juke

Chicago style of dance. A form of grinding on the dance floor. Most often perform to Chicago-style house music

"Everybody get yo juke on!"

the only correction i would make is that it's not only done in chicago. anyway, i'm fine with a little hugging and swaying and whatever, but juking is annoying especially if your roll has made you hypersensitive. so i'm wondering: do guys not know that? is it just an honest mistake and you don't know that you're invading someone's personal space? or is this just a thing that creepers do intentionally with complete disregard to their dance partner's feelings?

because depending on which one it is, i might drastically change the way i react to it.

and please don't say some girls are asking for it because of the way they dress or dance. it's a rave, it gets hot. if guys can take off their shirts then girls should be able to dance in a bra or bikini top. there's a way to approach women, whether they be ptots, ass-shakers or otherwise and grabbing them from behind and humping them is not the right way.

so let's hear it.

[thizzellejr]

I love to "juke" at raves...but I would never do so uninvited. I wait for a girl to come to me and start "jukein' " other wise im fine getting my gigs on all by myself.

[juiceboxx]

i hate it. i hate it even more when they ask if i wanna dance and i say no, and they do it anyway.

or when i elbow them in the ribs and move across the room and they still don't get the hint, so i have to actually turn around, push them, and say, "STOP."

even if the guy is relatively attractive (which he never is, for some reason only the ugly ones tend use this tactic, for me at least), i can't tell because he snuck up behind me surreptitiously, and the pre-annoyingness nullifies any potential attraction.

it's lamesauce all around. learn to dance like gentlemen, please.

[Klover]

i only try that shit with good friends, and they know im joking.

i enter the rave, the last thing on my mind is hitting on a girl.

now...getting to know a girl better? talking with her one on one in a quiet setting? maybe making out after we talk?

thats what fukin makes me and it RARELY happens....because i'm too distracted by the music.


i have a list of crushes in my head though

[thizzellejr]

Originally Posted by Klover

i only try that shit with good friends, and they know im joking.

i enter the rave, the last thing on my mind is hitting on a girl.

now...getting to know a girl better? talking with her one on one in a quiet setting? maybe making out after we talk?

thats what fukin makes me and it RARELY happens....because i'm too distracted by the music.


i have a list of crushes in my head though

grinding with a girl isn't hitting on her....it's dancing with her. I think it's a beautiful thing when two people are dancing with each other at a rave. it's almost like they have become a single entity joined TOGETHER by the MUSIC.

Now this isn't directed towards you, but towards everyone as more of a critical thinking question. Is it not ironic for someone to love cuddling, but then be completely against grinding? Now don't get my confused here, I'm not saying that if a person loves cuddling they should love grinding as well, i'm saying that they should not judge the people who do chose to do so (which im sure none of my RL peeps do)

That being said, I too think it is creepy as hell if a guy just comes up behind you tries to be all up on you. that is your personal space. The only way someone can enter it is if they are invited, or if they invite you into their personal space and you accept their invitation. Since I will be going to POP with couple some first timers that are also girls, I know im gonna be protecting them from all the creepers either by dancing with them ( ) or the traditional manly way (intimidation)

[Chicago]

i LOVE grinding with my friends. but grinding with friends and grinding with strangers has a completely different feel.

i should clear up that i'm not completely against juking. i've done it in the past and i'll do it in the future, no doubt. my friends at home don't rave, they club and bar hop. i just hate it when 1) guys don't ask, 2) they get too toucy feely, and 3) you're feeling at one with the music and and the world and life is perfect then BAM! suddenly there's a hard-on in your back.

there's definitely levels. but i think some guys should pay more attention to body language. example: i was dancing at monster massive COMPLETELY clothed (i'm talking long-ish dress, tutu, leggings, nothing really provocative) and suddenly i feel some guy moving his hands up my dress! i moved them but a second later they were right back! he got the message after i pushed him away again, but otherwise there would have been some problems.

good rule of thumb: if in doubt, there is no such thing as being too gentlemanly.

oh, and i totally have a list of crushes in my head, too! raving single is great, you never know who you'll meet.

[thizzellejr]

Originally Posted by Chicago

i LOVE grinding with my friends. but grinding with friends and grinding with strangers has a completely different feel.

i should clear up that i'm not completely against juking. i've done it in the past and i'll do it in the future, no doubt. my friends at home don't rave, they club and bar hop. i just hate it when 1) guys don't ask, 2) they get too toucy feely, and 3) you're feeling at one with the music and and the world and life is perfect then BAM! suddenly there's a hard-on in your back.

there's definitely levels. but i think some guys should pay more attention to body language. example: i was dancing at monster massive COMPLETELY clothed (i'm talking long-ish dress, tutu, leggings, nothing really provocative) and suddenly i feel some guy moving his hands up my dress! i moved them but a second later they were right back! he got the message after i pushed him away again, but otherwise there would have been some problems.

good rule of thumb: if in doubt, there is no such thing as being too gentlemanly.

oh, and i totally have a list of crushes in my head, too! raving single is great, you never know who you'll meet.

Strong mental images! Sorry that that has happened to you. There are defiantly some creepers out there that do some creepy ass things. Those are the kinda guys that get broked jaws, specially if they do something like that to my friends

I completely agree with your rule of thumb, it is actually a rule I have aboded by at every party ive been to. Like I said, if it happens it happens, I don't force anything. I'm more then content with bustin my own moves to the music.

how mmany more days till pop? Jeez i cant wait anymore

[Chicago]

8 days. i definitely have trouble concentrating on school because of it.

i'm stoked that some dudes still have a sense of respect for the opposite gender. DANCING ALONE FTW! i can barely catch the beat when i'm dancing alone, i don't need to worry about keeping up with someone else.

but if you think the mental images are bad...

oh, and i totally forgot to respond to your cuddling comment! you're right, it's definitely not cool to judge a consenting couple for dancing together just like it's not right to judge a couple for cuddling. but i feel like surprise cuddling, even with a stranger, is less threatening than surprise grinding. though it can TURN sexual, cuddling still comes off as a non-sexual thing. i can cuddle with old friends, i can cuddle with new friends, and i still cuddle with my parents sometimes...

there are very very few, if ANY people who i would let bend me over and start dry-humping (definite exaggeration). and i think they're all either girls or very platonic friends.

i'm just gonna start assuming unwanted advances are creepers because it seems like most decent guys have some common sense. i think this means my response is going to start getting a little more aggressive.

[thizzellejr]

Originally Posted by Chicago

8 days. i definitely have trouble concentrating on school because of it.

i'm stoked that some dudes still have a sense of respect for the opposite gender. DANCING ALONE FTW! i can barely catch the beat when i'm dancing alone, i don't need to worry about keeping up with someone else.

but if you think the mental images are bad...

oh, and i totally forgot to respond to your cuddling comment! you're right, it's definitely not cool to judge a consenting couple for dancing together just like it's not right to judge a couple for cuddling. but i feel like surprise cuddling, even with a stranger, is less threatening than surprise grinding. though it can TURN sexual, cuddling still comes off as a non-sexual thing. i can cuddle with old friends, i can cuddle with new friends, and i still cuddle with my parents sometimes...

there are very very few, if ANY people who i would let bend me over and start dry-humping (definite exaggeration). and i think they're all either girls or very platonic friends.

i'm just gonna start assuming unwanted advances are creepers because it seems like most decent guys have some common sense. i think this means my response is going to start getting a little more aggressive.

Damn thats 8 days too long!

Thats funny because i'm like the exact opposite way. Cuddling is way more sexual for me because my brain just relates it to the action preformed after sex. I think it's fair to say that either of the actions, when done in surprise can be unwanted and can warrant anything from a kind "no thank you" to a first to the face or a knee to the balls depending on the situation.

That's a good assumption to make about unwanted advances. I know personally, I would not enjoy dancing with a girl unless she was enjoying it her self. Guys, or even girls who try and forcefully dance with people would defiantly be classified as sexual offenders.

[TiredTendencies]

Yea I wouldn't wanna dance with a girl unless she was feeling it too...otherwise it'd just be you being horny like...yea.

a "no thanks" will get me to back off (give girls their space guys...)..so will "no", it might take me a bit to be like no what? but it'll back me off too.

i find that both can be sexual, it just depends on the situation, and how rolled out you are to perceive it to be. I don't think one's automatically "more sexual" than te other.

My 2 c.

[Ipsl]

I dont dance that much at raves but I dont think grinding or any of that would be on my mind. Id be to busy going dumb. House music to me is a gateway to self expression and unity. Two things that done necessarily go together when its two people dancing. Besides I usually hiot the off beat and most ladies I see don't hit it on the 3 like me.

[wingsofhalcyon]

Glad you made this thread Chicago because I was thinking about this since B&W. I really like dancing with girls whether its at a distance or jukeing/grinding. I always ask first and if they say no, it's , keep on dancing. At B&W, I saw a lot of latino guys creeping up behind girls and then just grabbing them like it was a sport. That was just disgusting and awkward to watch. For me, juke/grinding isn't even a sexual thing. I'm not looking to hookup, nor am I trying to make out with anyone. When I'm rolling, I just want to be close to someone in the same sense that you like to cuddle. Thanks for the insight Chicago.