Break Edge and Find Heaven

I've done it... I did what most strait-edge kids veiw as an unforgivable sin... I broke edge- and you know what? I'm glad I did it!

It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life!

It was at MEMF. My boyfriend, Mirsad and I were given a single ecstacy tablet by our tent-neighbors. We split it between us shortly before going into the festival gate.

While walking from our tent to the gate I began to feel a tingling sensation in my fingers. As the security gaurd patted me down it made my skin feel like velvet.

We went into the main stage area and the feeling was amazing. The sensation of the bass in the building was like a coccoon of static around my body, but it was warm and soft.

Sounds were deeper, visuals were richer, and the touch was, dare I say, orgasmic. It was the most beautiful thing I ever felt. People were giving us lightshows and hugs. I traded kandi with a bunch of people... and then Mirsad came up to me and held me.

There was this surging feeling of warmth and REAL affection... I know this sounds dumb, but I've spent years just being used by people who didn't mean it when they said "I love you" that their displays of affection felt empty and fake. This was real.

I could feel the static-coccoon around me melt into his and everything was right with the world. There was no shitty job back home. There was no overbearing mother to yell at me when I got back. There were no hateful people left over from highschool to whisper behind my back... And there wasn't that controlling little voice in my head, telling me I was a bad person for doing this. The world really was a wonderful place, and I was part of it. So was Mirsad. So was everyone!

So THIS was the real PLUR, eh?
I like it.

After a couple hours, we began pooting out and went back to camp. Mirsad sat and talked with the neighbors for a while and I went and laied down in the tent. After a bit he came in and laied with me and wrapped himself around me. There was much cuddling, kissing, touching, and caressing, and everything felt like wet velvet... Almost like dolphin skin. (If you have ever touched a dolphin, you will remember this sensation forever!)

He settled down and held me tight and I could hear him whispering... "You're so beautiful." "I love you so much." "I want to marry you, Sammy."
...And every word of it was true.

I didn't sleep that night, but I had some amazing visuals when I closed my eyes that I could have never had while sober.

Now I honestly don't know why I was edge before. Everything was so fake. The world had so many limits. Life was just monotonous and lacking in so many ways, but I suppose that's a cencequence of being human.

It isn't like I'm going to convert to a life of rampant drug-usage. I suppose now the OCCASIONAL use of thigs like ecstacy, LSD, or mushrooms is fine. Once in a great while at a safe dosage in safe surroundings, using common sense while using is perfectly fine. I don't want to get into anything addictive or horribly damaging to my body.

I'm happy I tried ecstacy, and I will most certainly do it again, and I am even happier I shared it with someone who loves me.


I don't know why they tell you lies in highschool. I didn't black out or loose control of my actions. I behaved perfectly sober, my high was over in about 3 and 1/2 hours, I have suffered no lasting effects, I didn't die, and I'm not addicted... So wheres all of this E-addiction, seizures, vommiting, rampent sex with partners I wouldn't normally be with, loss of memory, or anything they said would happen?
Exsactly.
Fucking liars.

Kids... Do whatever floats your boat. Teachers have lied to me about most things in my life. Fuck America's educational system. We have one of the poorest in developed countries anyway.

As far as I am concerned, the following needs legalised:
Marajuana
Ecstacy
Mushrooms
LSD
and Freedom of Safe, Recreational Usage.

Hell, tobacco an alcohol kill millions EVERY YEAR and those are legal.