(Warning: This post might be too long for you all you're looking for is a quick read.)
We judge people by the clothes they wear, the way they walk, the music they listen to, by the car they are driving, by their ethnic origins, by the mood they are in, by the friends that they have, by their actions and on and on it goes.
There was a time in my life where every month I would just set one rule up in my head, to help myself be more accepting and loving toward people. One of those months involved non-judgment.
I had told myself that for one full month I will try to not judge people. I had to face the fact and realize that I don't know why people do what they do, and often times the very criticisms I make on others, are things I have done myself numerous times (but of course, when
we do it, it's totally justified and "different").
I learned to succumb to the realization that I am in no position to criticize somebody because, simply put, I don't know who they are, what their background is, and what is going on in their minds.
Almost all of us judge people ALL the time.
It's one thing to judge something or someone in regards to something you are an expert at. For example, let's say you are a professional DJ and notice another DJ is making a mistake. Well, you can make that judgment that a mistake is being made because you're experienced and let the guy know what his mistake is.
And then there's this kind of judgment....you could say that DJ is an IDIOT for making that mistake, or that he's lazy or that he's ignorant, or whatever you want to call him.
We think our judgments are actually valid most of the time, but honestly, almost all of our judgments are made too soon, without any careful thought and understanding.
Even with meticulous research, about a person, you will never be able to experience what they experienced from the moment they were born, to the day they die, in the shoes they have walked in and the eyes that they saw their life through.
You don't know what goes on in peoples heads.
Let's say you're driving down the street and a car is coming up behind you REALLY fast and passes you and continues to weave in through the cars and looking quite reckless. And you wonder, "what is that guys rush? that guy is an idiot, that guy is a jackass, he must be some stupid teenager, or maybe he's on a lot of drugs, fuck that guy" etc etc
Hold it. Before you go about labeling that guy as a moron, it's highly likely you were in his shoes once and were doing the same reckless actions.
Even if you were
never like that, you have absolutely no idea why he might be acting that way. Maybe his child is hurt badly and he needs to rush him to the hospital, maybe he just had a bad argument with his girlfriend and is completely overtaken by anger, maybe he's on a lot of psychiatric medicine and he's all out of his meds.
Fact is, you don't know
who that man is, you don't know what his reasons are for doing what he's doing, you don't know
JACK SHIT about ANYTHING to label that guy by that mere action.
On top of that, whenever something like that happens, you might deliberately speed up... to catch up next to that guy, because you want to see what this fucker looks like, because you think, that by looking at what he looks like, you're going to be able to make sense of the situation.
Like, oh he's on his cell phone, fucking idiot (as if you never used your phone while driving), or oh he looks like he's 16, that explains it, or oh look he's asian, fucking asians can't drive.
Well I'm sorry but you have no idea what that mans deal is and you never will. Try to realize that as humans we have the capability to run through an
incredibly wide range of emotions at any moment, and you are not any more superior.
Let's say you have a friend who is addicted to drugs and sleeps around with everybody and their mother. Well, you could easily say, well that person is a whore and a druggie and an idiot. You know what dude, you're in no fucking position to ever know why they are doing what they are doing.
You don't know the kind of childhood that person had, you don't know how they were raised, how many homes they lived in, you don't know what goes through their mind, the kind of stress they have to deal with, you don't know what their perception of life is like.
No matter how much you think you know the person, you don't know their inner thoughts and emotions and anxieties and worries and pleasures and fears are. You have NO fucking idea. You never have and you never will. You're in no position to judge anybody.
With all that said, I try to not judge people, and I try to do a damn good job at it, but of course... I'm not perfect and I do it as well once in a while. Sometimes I might jump on the "bandwagon" with other people calling somebody an idiot and I go, "Yea man, that guy's dumb." just for the sake of jumping in on the bandwagon. So before you call me hypocritical, I'm not saying I don't judge all the time, it's a fucking process, and maybe one day I won't at all, but in the meantime, it's nice to share this info with you guys.
Maybe one day one of YOU will help me note when i'm making a rash/unfair judgment and you can help nudge me back on the path.
P.L.U.R.